We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
