don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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