she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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