If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
