Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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