that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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