Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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