dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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