she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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