week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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