After last night, I could never be a politician.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
