did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
