why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
