i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
