everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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