Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
