Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
So apparently I’m into choking now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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