so that wasnt chicken after all
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
