I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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