I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
