my phone needs a breathalizer
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just pee around me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
