I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You need a sexual gate keeper
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
