so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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