Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
