This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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