just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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