I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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