thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
