Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
