under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize