but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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