k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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