she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
