as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
