I seem to have left my pride at pride
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
