hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
