How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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