We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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