please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
