I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
