Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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