Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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