Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She's the barista slut.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
