Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
