He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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