just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
