I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just pee around me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
