I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
