sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
