He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
