no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I hate your face
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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