Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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