Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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