how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize