Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she pinky promised me she was 18
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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