That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
