i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
