i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
