I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
