last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
